I deserve more!
by HarryMakepeace
Summary: This is a oneshot. Set after the Episode "In the Red". I had to write down what I felt after that episode:-  So, Gillian is telling him, what I thought of Cal Lightman*gg*


After Cal Lightman and Detective Sharon Wallowski left the firm, Gillian Foster went to her office. She was really angry. And more than that, she was really sad.

„_I rememba hiring you, but not marrying you", he had told her._

She could not believe what she heard. Had he really said that? Yes, he had and Gillian was speechless. Until now she never felt so offended in her dignity.

„_You mess with my finances again, you and I are through", he sad and she could hear that he was telling her the truth._

Gillian sat down at her desk. What was going on with Cal? He allways was a jerk and he allways hurt people but he never did that to her. Not like that. Something had changed. While thinking of it, the door went open and Cal Lightman went into her office. He remained in the doorway and stared at her.

„Where is your Detective?", she asked resigned.

„I sent her home, luv. I think we have to talk about what happend", he said and entered the office.

„There's nothing more to say, Cal. You made your perception clear. It was clear enough to me. I'm going home and maybe I'm not coming back", she said barely audible.

„Ya don't mean that."

„Look at me and tell me if I'm lying", she whispered starring at him.

„You are not", he said shortly.

„I'm through with you, Cal Lightman. I'm done with you and your ego. And don't you dare to say another word", she nearly yelled at him and pointed a finger to his face.

Cal opened his mouth but nothing came out. The words stuck in his throat and he closed his mouth again.

„Do you remember that moment, when you gave the money to Zoe? When you risked our future? I did everything to save you and your damn firm. And when you are drunk? Who's there for you and your bloody egoism? Who allways covers your missteps? I deserve more, Cal. I really deserve more than that", now she yelled at him and tears welled up in her eyes.

„And I deserve that, luv. I didn't mean to hurt ya", he said quietly, searching for an excuse.

„Yeah, I can tell. Maybe you didn't want to hurt me but you meant every word you said. It was not an oversight, Cal. I could hear it in your voice. It was the truth you told me. Every single word was true. And I allways thought we were friends and I can count on you, but you have disappointed me. I'm really tired, tired of you and your disgusting behavior. I'm out off your stupid company", she sobbed loudly.

„It's the Lightman Group, ya know? Sure, I'm Lightman but you're the Group", he said softly and smiled.

„Oh, come on, Cal. This is pathetic, even for you. You don't need friends, Cal. All you need is a punchingball and a trashcan to get rid of your garbage. You're treating us like crap. Not only me but also Loker and Torres. I can't do that anymore. I can't stand that anymore and I have to go", she said emotionless.

„I can only ask you to stay, luv. And ask for forgiveness."

„It's not so simple, not this time. What happened to you, Cal? Why are you so offensive? I can't understand you anymore." Her voice broke.

Cal sat on the edge of her desk and looked sad.

„I can not lose you, Gillian. Everything rises and falls with you, luv. Look at me", he said softly and with a finger under her chin, he forced her to look at him.

„You really mean that, don't you? But why do you treat me like that? What have I done? Talk to me, Cal", she begged.

„I don't deserve you, Gillian. That's it. I'm screwed up, luv. I am a totally messed up idiot and you deserve betta than that. Betta than me", he whispered, barely audible.

„You really mean that. It's your opinion. You really want to force me out of your life and the company, because you think of yourself as a screwed up person? I can decide for myself, Cal. I want you in my live and I want to work with you, not for you. Have I made myself clear?", she said shocked.

Cal knelt before her and put his head in her lap. Gillian's hands trembled as she gently stroked his head.

„You have to talk to me, Cal. That's the only way it can work for me. Don't make any decisions for me anymore and stay out of my private life. You don't have to protect me and you do not have to protect me from you. I really remember, what you said these days at the warehouse and I've heard that you meant it", she said gently and changed the subject.

„Oi, where does that come from? We were in danga and I had to say something", he lied.

„Next point, Cal. We have to be honest", she said shortly.

„Okay, I told that boyfriend of yours the truth. I want ya, Fosta and I do for a long time. You wanted me to be honest", he smirked.

„That's a start. And now I want something to drink, something strong and we have to talk about some more things", she said while standing up.

„I'm with ya, Fosta. I'm all yours and I always will be", he said softly.

Together they left the office and maybe that was a new beginning for both.

That's my first english fanfic and only a oneshot for the beginning...so be gentle with me*gggg* I was so pissed after the first episode of season 3...I had to write the things I thought about Cal*gggg*


End file.
